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Covid Christmas

So, did Santa bring the presents you wanted? All I got for Christmas was Covid. It’s the gift that just keeps on giving. And yet I’d been so careful. At work I’d kept a mask…

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Present Tense: Getting Tense About Presents.

I’m currently sobbing in a foetal ball. My condition? Severe P.P. – Prezzie Paranoia. With Santa already harnessing his reindeers, I still haven’t made any purchases. What to buy? It doesn’t help being a chronic…

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OZ-Catraz – My Aussie Odyssey

I’ve never been so glad to see a horlicks and a hob nob. Why? Well, I’ve just got back to Britain after a two month Sydney lockdown. My Oz Odyssey felt like a time warp….

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How to be a domestic slattern

It was a tough call and I really had to steal my nerves, but I finally got up the courage to fire myself from cleaning my house. Not only did I catch myself drinking heavily…

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Covid made me choose between my 89 year old mum and my autistic son

Last week I joined the distraught ranks of people the world over who’ve felt the true cruelty of this vile Coronavirus. My mother is in intensive care in Australia and I can’t get home. There…

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Yes, I Love London But Why I’ll Always Call Australia Home

‘No Worries’ should be Australia’s national motto. It’s the first phrase I hear when I boomerang back to Australia from Britain each year for family fun in the sun. This laid-back response from an airport…

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Boomerang Generation; How to cope when your kids move back home

Kids leaving home is traumatic, but not nearly as stressful as when they move back in again! Human beings are the only creatures on God’s earth who take their young back when they’re fully grown…

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Writing for The Simpsons… and hiding Julian Assange in the attic

The most quirky writing task I’ve had of late, was penning some dialogue for The Simpsons 500th episode. In typical delightfully subversive style, The Simpsons creators decided to include a cameo from Julian Assange. Julian…

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