The Llama Parlour

Love is in the air. Or is it car exhaust fumes?

‘The thing I longed for the most was to fall in love. I wanted an American Romeo, hot off the press, home-delivered. Nothing special, as long as he had pectorals, a PhD, a nice bum, a non-sexist attitude, a top tan, a well-read penis, pale blue eyes, could cook soufflés, arm-wrestle crocodiles and wanted a loving relationship with bone marrow-melting sex. Now, was that too much to ask of a billionaire?’

Kat Kennedy is bored with Australian life. Especially the men. So when she wins a part in a top American sitcom, she jumps at the chance to experience some Hollywood glamour. Even if they do wear sunglasses indoors.

But even her new best friend, the straight-talking Tash, can’t prepare Kat for a town where the men have love-bites on their mirrors and there is no law of gravity (skin sags upwards).

And then there’s the irresistible superstar Pierce Scanlen. But can Kat compete with the other great love of his life – himself?

Laugh? I was nearly hospitalized … outrageous, rough and raunchy.

Cosmopolitan Magazine

Funny, irreverent, smart. A hot writer with a wickedly hilarious pen.

Jackie Collins

The best one-liners you’re likely to see in print all year.

Jonathan Coe, The Guardian

It cheered me up.

Salman Rushdie

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One-liners, wise cracks and witticisms