What do women really want in bed? Breakfast. Oh, and a good book. If you’re looking for a funny, frivolous yet feisty new read, do slip between my covers. Satisfaction guaranteed.
Here’s a selection of scribblings in which I peel down to my emotional underwear – a psychological striptease that occasionally reveals all.
I think women are each other’s human Wonderbras – uplifting, supportive and making each other look bigger and better.
If he wants breakfast, tell him to sleep in the kitchen.
Men think monogamy is something you make dining tables out of.
Many marriages break up for religious reasons – he thinks he’s a god and she doesn’t.
Love prepares you for marriage the way needlepoint prepares you for round-the-world solo yachting.
Boys will be boys, and so will a load of middle-aged boys who should know better.
Ladies who lynch.
No wife ever shot a husband while he was vacuuming.
I think therefore I’m divorced.
All husbands think they’re Gods. If only their wives weren’t atheists.
Happy wife = happy life.
I couldn’t ask for a better husband… as much as I’d bloody well like to.
Statistically, 100% of divorces begin with marriage.
Marriage is nature’s way of promoting masturbation.
Marriage is a fun-packed, frivolous activity – only occasionally resulting in death.
It’ll be an amicable split. You’ll both get 50 % of the acrimony.
A new invention is required. The monogamous husband. Patent Pending.
How Do I Hate Thee? Let me Count the Ways.
My wedding vows didn’t say To Love, Hoover and Obey.
I’m Having my period so can therefore legally kill you.
You are going to enjoy this marriage, even if I have to divorce you to do so.
A happy marriage is like an orgasm – many of them are faked.
All this emphasis on women faking orgasms, but what about men faking foreplay?
Why do men like intelligent women? Because opposites attract.
Why don’t women tell jokes? Because we marry them.
What does a woman really want in bed? Breakfast.
For women, life is full of lies – I mean doctors maintain that wrinkles don’t hurt.
Legal aid cuts prove that the Tories believe a person is innocent until proven destitute.
Sexist men are so stupid it makes you want to take the ‘men’ out of Mensa.
If a man ever tells you that women fall at his feet – it’s only because he gets them drunk first.
A woman must always fight back. Never just lie back and think of Canberra.
The best cure for menopause is the toy boy diet. A case of having Your Beefcake and Eating It Too.
I don’t fake orgasms. I’m faking being six foot one and seven stone.
Trophy wives tarnish quickly and then get left on the shelf.
Lawyers work 24/7. The partners of lawyers suffer from a bad case of subpoena envy.
Most shrinks should book an appointment with themselves.
The question on the minds of most women is – why doesn’t chocolate go straight to your boobs?
Don’t fall for a man’s puppy dog look… Just get him wormed.
It’s been so long since a man has touched me, not even medical science will want my body.
My top tip for keeping your youth? Lock him in the pool house.
love your website and the photos. Do you get back to Australia often? we live in Sth Aust originally from Scotland, 40 years ago, still miss the old country some times. Our daughter loves your books – all the best for 2013.
just read an article in which you are described as “that hideous squawking cockatoo” Angela Mollard “Take Baby Steps” U on Sunday – Sunday Mail 16 Feb 2014. You can come and squawk at my dinner table any time you like. You are one of my favourite people. I wrote to you before about Joshua Peck and gave traced his history back to the Bishop of Lichfield/Coventry who was chaplain to Henry I also ancestors are the Vavasours of Hazelwood Castle
Really loved the dress Kathy was wearing on Alan Titchmarsh’s programme today (27th October) and wondered where it came from! Would love to know as have scoured the Internet and can’t find it anywhere!
Dear Kathy, I thank you for giving me the opportunity to write to you. I had the pleasure of meeting you and having our picture taken at Versace on the Gold Coast at the Early Raisers Breakfast in August 2014. You gave me the encouragement I needed to pursue my writing ambition. I want you to know that I have achieved my project and I am about to have my book published. A market researched of my 135,000 non-fiction manuscript has returned an overall score for entertainment and writing of 8 out of 10. You will always be in my heart, THANK YOU! I wish our paths could meet again. Love, Livia York.
Loved your article about how rape cases are tried and I totally agree! It is completely unacceptable that in this day and age these mysogynistic practices are allowed go on. Unfortunately until we get more female judges and a higher percentage of women in the upper echelons of the law, I’m afraid nothing will be done about it. It is nothing short of criminal. I feel only pity for anyone who is brave enough to report a rape who doesn’t receive the justice they deserve at the end of it.
Ps saw Kathy on BBC Global yesterday and loved her dress – where did she get it?!? 🙂
I’m a volunteer fund-raiser for a charity in Sydney called WINDGAP which educates, houses and employs & assists intellectually disabled people (autistic, Down’s syndrome etc) transition to the workplace. It has been prominent in Sydney for 63 years. I am doing a charity ball for them on 7th May, 2016. Would you be in Sydney then & if so, would you be interested in MC’ing the function for me? I have been trying to track you down for a couple of years as I think you would be ideal!!!! I would LOVE a positive response!
Thanks Kathy – Maggi
It is morning in Southern England and I am listening to the 3 hour tribute to Barry Humphreys, anchored by yourself.I confess, Ms Lette, this is the first time I have heard you, at least to my knowledge.The programme is great fun with wonderful interviews.What a great way to spend a Saturday morning.So thank you for bringing the great Dame Edna aka Barry Humpreys to the Radio.Best wishes, Shelley of Port Solent.
OMG I loved Kathy’s dress at Pointless Celebrity (both programs hahaha ) WHERE CAN I BUY ONE PLLLEEAASSSEEE
Hi. I recently heard Kathy state that research suggests children of working mother’s respect their mother’s more than children of mother’s who don’t work outside the home. I was wondering if you could please direct me to this research. Thanks so much. Cheers.