International Women’s Day
On 8th March 2012, as part of International Women’s Day, I took part in the “Join me on the Bridge” campaign in London. Women and men gathered on bridges all around the world to take a stand for peace and equality. We were part of 215 events in 59 countries, on 7 continents.
On the border between Rwanda and DRC, two trees were planted, symbolising peace and sustainable development for both countries. In Nigeria 900 women from 8 communities danced in celebration. There was a peaceful walk through Enugu, ending in the stadium where there were speeches and a one-minute silence for those killed in recent bombs in Nigeria and around the world.
In South Sudan about 1,500 women, men and children followed a peace band across the Kubur William Bridge, which divides the two Dinka tribes (Agar and Gaak). 200 incredibly brave women marched through Kabul. Men and women gathered together in Pakistan on the Red Bridge in Kaipur showing their messages of peace. In Rome the U.S. Ambassador to United Nations Food and Agriculture Agency addressed the crowds. In Antarctica, men and women gathered on a boat holding their banners proudly. In Mexico women and children wrote messages of peace. In Seville a crowd gathered for a concert on Ponte de Triana. In Krakow in Poland they organised a flashmob. And people gathered on bridges across the US, from Brooklyn Bridge to Golden Gate in San Francisco. In the UK alone there were 70 events. In London, surrounded by thousands of supporters, we marched across Millennium Bridge with Gaggle (an all-female choir) to the Royal Festival Hall for the most inspiring speeches .
Any woman who calls herself a post feminist has obviously kept her wonder bra and burnt her brains as we still have a long, long way to go. But we are crossing each bridge as we come to it.
If you’d like to know more about this initiative then head over here.
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What do women really want in bed? Breakfast. Oh, and a good book. If you’re looking for a funny, frivolous yet feisty new read, do slip between my covers. Satisfaction guaranteed.
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Here’s a selection of scribblings in which I peel down to my emotional underwear – a psychological striptease that occasionally reveals all.
One-liners, wise cracks and witticisms
I think women are each other’s human Wonderbras – uplifting, supportive and making each other look bigger and better.
If he wants breakfast, tell him to sleep in the kitchen.
Men think monogamy is something you make dining tables out of.
Many marriages break up for religious reasons – he thinks he’s a god and she doesn’t.
Love prepares you for marriage the way needlepoint prepares you for round-the-world solo yachting.
Boys will be boys, and so will a load of middle-aged boys who should know better.
Ladies who lynch.
No wife ever shot a husband while he was vacuuming.
I think therefore I’m divorced.
All husbands think they’re Gods. If only their wives weren’t atheists.
Happy wife = happy life.
I couldn’t ask for a better husband… as much as I’d bloody well like to.
Statistically, 100% of divorces begin with marriage.
Marriage is nature’s way of promoting masturbation.
Marriage is a fun-packed, frivolous activity – only occasionally resulting in death.
It’ll be an amicable split. You’ll both get 50 % of the acrimony.
A new invention is required. The monogamous husband. Patent Pending.
How Do I Hate Thee? Let me Count the Ways.
My wedding vows didn’t say To Love, Hoover and Obey.
I’m Having my period so can therefore legally kill you.
You are going to enjoy this marriage, even if I have to divorce you to do so.
A happy marriage is like an orgasm – many of them are faked.
All this emphasis on women faking orgasms, but what about men faking foreplay?
Why do men like intelligent women? Because opposites attract.
Why don’t women tell jokes? Because we marry them.
What does a woman really want in bed? Breakfast.
For women, life is full of lies – I mean doctors maintain that wrinkles don’t hurt.
Legal aid cuts prove that the Tories believe a person is innocent until proven destitute.
Sexist men are so stupid it makes you want to take the ‘men’ out of Mensa.
If a man ever tells you that women fall at his feet – it’s only because he gets them drunk first.
A woman must always fight back. Never just lie back and think of Canberra.
The best cure for menopause is the toy boy diet. A case of having Your Beefcake and Eating It Too.
I don’t fake orgasms. I’m faking being six foot one and seven stone.
Trophy wives tarnish quickly and then get left on the shelf.
Lawyers work 24/7. The partners of lawyers suffer from a bad case of subpoena envy.
Most shrinks should book an appointment with themselves.
The question on the minds of most women is – why doesn’t chocolate go straight to your boobs?
Don’t fall for a man’s puppy dog look… Just get him wormed.
It’s been so long since a man has touched me, not even medical science will want my body.
My top tip for keeping your youth? Lock him in the pool house.
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